My husband, Emmanuel, has a few acts that he calls life's little pleasures. These include stopping on a lay by along open country roads to watch the sun go down, munching on a bowl of corn, simply popped with a drizzle of olive oil and a sprinkling of salt. Of course I can't conclude this list without adding his best-ever pleasure, eating roasted corns.
I remember once on a drive from Ayia napa back to Limassol during one of our trips to Cyprus. We suddenly chanced upon a roadside stand of a corn roaster setting up his wares. Corn!, I shouted, not really for my own sake but for his (yea, sure!) Emmanuel almost brought the car to a complete standstill right there on the road and then whipped round the steering for a perfect u-turn. Boy, did I thank my lucky stars that the island's police were probably busy inside the city where they felt that unruly tourists only existed! I am still trying to remember how long it took before we could stand another meal after attacking the corn that evening. For the seller, it must have been the best day ever. Yep, this is one of life's simple pleasures.
The last weekend also went down on my list of a pleasurable period. In fact, I had a weekend many people out there would give all their wealth to have. No, I didn't pull out all stops on my credit card at the boutiques; neither did I spend an evening at the best French restaurant in town. I was home cooking and chilling with some of my children and their friends who came down from London. It was good having them and somehow, the house expanded to contain everybody. At one point, I had twelve people inside, with most sitting around the dining table. These were mostly young professionals like doctors, bankers and financial analysts. For the weekend, they forgot the world of credit crunch, sick patients and dwindling clients. It was joy and laughter all the way.
Having most of my family under one roof was a joy. I kept looking at them, listening to their peculiar laughter and feeling that all was well. Emmanuel and I exchanged a few smiles and hugs and thanked God for his blessings. He felt that I was spending a lot of time in the kitchen though. What he did not realize was that as a mother, it was simply the best place to be, then. What's more, I knew that I was not going to bother with cleaning up afterwards. My children are aces at that.
Yep, it was one of life's simple pleasures and one I could not exchange for all the gold in Christendom.
Wednesday 29 October 2008
Tuesday 14 October 2008
Blow that low self esteem!
Have you ever felt that you missed out when God was dishing out talents to humans? Do you know someone who feels that he/she is good at nothing? Then let me tell you some home truth. There is no human that is useless in everything. Hey, even animals; who are considered lower than us, are talented. As I write this, a beautiful squirrel is in my garden making, what in my human eyes is a mess, but what in his is a methodology for unearthing some sustenance. Wish there is a way of letting it know that it must clean up after its mess! I just tidied my garden over the weekend.
I had a friend who used to envy my writing skills. She believed that she was 'no good' at anything, not even raising her kids, although she had three beautiful and well-mannered daughters that were the envy of the community. But try telling her that and she would quickly tell you that you were just saying it to make her feel good. She walked about with hunched shoulders, never looking people in the eyes. To make herself feel useful and wanted, she tried pleasing everybody, and subsequently got used by many.
This lady's curry dishes were to-die-for. Her chapattis rivalled those of Madhur Jafffery on Western palate, and her desserts were irresistible even for die-hard dieters. I knew because I was one of those who benefited from her largess and free nosh. Sad to say that some of us started asking her to produce dishes for our parties for free, which she was glad to do. We even passed these creations off as the works of our hands!
Still dying to be a writer, she once sent me her 'masterpiece' to view. It was worse than awful. A junior high school kid could have done better. Sorry to say that I took delight in changing the colour of her pages with a yellow marker! Her shoulders hunched twice after she received the corrected pages. "I told you that I can never be good at anything," she lamented.
That was when I allowed my good side to take over. My friend had very low self esteem. This has been described as the sum of a set of judgements about one's value, worthiness, and competence in various domains. She did the sum and got zero! I knew that she was high on the achievement ladder and just needed someone to point that out. About time I did some good deed, I told myself.
The next time she came bearing another awesome dish, I called her aside for a chat.
"Do you realise that your curry is the talk of this community?"
"O no!" she exclaimed her shoulders falling down a couple of notches, "I knew it, I knew that I can never make a good curry. People take it and pretend to like it. O dear, shall I...?"
"No, no, no, please listen" I cut in, placing a hand on her shoulders and pushing her face up. "You curry is the best for miles around and not only your curry," I rushed on. " Your pizza is great and your desserts even greater."
"Oh really?", she beamed looking me in the eyes.
"Yes," I continued. Have you ever considered selling these masterpieces because folks would pay a lot to have you cook for them."
"No! no!! no!! I can never do that."
"Yes! yes!!, yes!!! you can, and you should start by participating in the next International Food festival the community is holding."
To cut a long story short, she did sell her food and made quite a killing. That led to orders and sales from home. A lucrative business had taken off.
My friend started walking tall and I stopped getting free curries! But that's alright. The important thing was that she found her true calling
Have you found yours? I know that it is there. Just look hard or consult your friends. The honest ones will always tell you what you are good at.
Unless like me, they enjoy letting you steam for sometime.
I had a friend who used to envy my writing skills. She believed that she was 'no good' at anything, not even raising her kids, although she had three beautiful and well-mannered daughters that were the envy of the community. But try telling her that and she would quickly tell you that you were just saying it to make her feel good. She walked about with hunched shoulders, never looking people in the eyes. To make herself feel useful and wanted, she tried pleasing everybody, and subsequently got used by many.
This lady's curry dishes were to-die-for. Her chapattis rivalled those of Madhur Jafffery on Western palate, and her desserts were irresistible even for die-hard dieters. I knew because I was one of those who benefited from her largess and free nosh. Sad to say that some of us started asking her to produce dishes for our parties for free, which she was glad to do. We even passed these creations off as the works of our hands!
Still dying to be a writer, she once sent me her 'masterpiece' to view. It was worse than awful. A junior high school kid could have done better. Sorry to say that I took delight in changing the colour of her pages with a yellow marker! Her shoulders hunched twice after she received the corrected pages. "I told you that I can never be good at anything," she lamented.
That was when I allowed my good side to take over. My friend had very low self esteem. This has been described as the sum of a set of judgements about one's value, worthiness, and competence in various domains. She did the sum and got zero! I knew that she was high on the achievement ladder and just needed someone to point that out. About time I did some good deed, I told myself.
The next time she came bearing another awesome dish, I called her aside for a chat.
"Do you realise that your curry is the talk of this community?"
"O no!" she exclaimed her shoulders falling down a couple of notches, "I knew it, I knew that I can never make a good curry. People take it and pretend to like it. O dear, shall I...?"
"No, no, no, please listen" I cut in, placing a hand on her shoulders and pushing her face up. "You curry is the best for miles around and not only your curry," I rushed on. " Your pizza is great and your desserts even greater."
"Oh really?", she beamed looking me in the eyes.
"Yes," I continued. Have you ever considered selling these masterpieces because folks would pay a lot to have you cook for them."
"No! no!! no!! I can never do that."
"Yes! yes!!, yes!!! you can, and you should start by participating in the next International Food festival the community is holding."
To cut a long story short, she did sell her food and made quite a killing. That led to orders and sales from home. A lucrative business had taken off.
My friend started walking tall and I stopped getting free curries! But that's alright. The important thing was that she found her true calling
Have you found yours? I know that it is there. Just look hard or consult your friends. The honest ones will always tell you what you are good at.
Unless like me, they enjoy letting you steam for sometime.
Wednesday 1 October 2008
The trouble with preconception
Why do we spend our lives in loneliness and isolation when there are wonderful folks out there who would not only be company but also enrich our lives?
Today, I decided to go out of my self-induced-home loving-but-lonely-self and take an acquaintance out for lunch. The fun started when I stopped at her house to pick her up. I spent twenty minutes getting to know her and her partner better (by the way, I dont like the term partner!). This was an education on its own because this older gentleman is a repository of history. Every utterance of his was peppered with wisdom. He read books from authors I never knew existed, who write about topics I never knew had been written about. I left promising to seek out the nearest library to my house.
My friend knew this place where they serve great Caribean food. We decided to patronize our brothers. The food lived up to expectation so we asked to give our compliment directly to the chef. Out came this brother with the most amazing dreadlocks; neatly gathered and held with a blue bandana. Now, I must confess that I have never talked to a guy with dreadlocks. Why? Because of some preconcived notion that dreadlocks signify trouble. I bought the unschooled and ignorant notion that wearers are rebels. I can now confute this belief, thanks to the young man who spent just fifteen minutes with us and left me ashamed of my unjustified belief.
From St Kitts, he is working two jobs to ensure that not only himself but his people back home are alright. His dream is to go home, although he regrets the fact that his beautiful island is falling apart. Talking to him, I ended up seeing the dreads as a crowning glory on the head of person who is not only a great cook but also an intellegent and focused gentleman.
Driving home, I remembered bible characters like John the Baptist and Samson who we admire and who were supposed to be close to God. Did those alive at that time cross the roads at their approach because they looked different? "Yikes, here comes those troublesome Nazerenes!" Could dreads have been more acceptable if it originated from the Western world? Why did I allow myself to see them as trouble just because some ignorant people said so? How many of us lose out on life due to prejudice? Questions! questions!! questions!!!
Arriving home, I decided to make use of my God-given intelligence and read up on Rastafarians and dreadlocks. It makes a fascinating read and I recommend you to delve into it yourself.
Will this make me grow such locks in the future? No way. I don't even think that my scanty, flyaway hair can be coaxed into it. But I will have more respect for those who do. More importantly, I will try harder not to be guided by other peoples opinion but rather work hard at finding out for myself. That's is part of the reason why God gave me my brains. I do Him injustice everytime I fail to use it.
Today, I decided to go out of my self-induced-home loving-but-lonely-self and take an acquaintance out for lunch. The fun started when I stopped at her house to pick her up. I spent twenty minutes getting to know her and her partner better (by the way, I dont like the term partner!). This was an education on its own because this older gentleman is a repository of history. Every utterance of his was peppered with wisdom. He read books from authors I never knew existed, who write about topics I never knew had been written about. I left promising to seek out the nearest library to my house.
My friend knew this place where they serve great Caribean food. We decided to patronize our brothers. The food lived up to expectation so we asked to give our compliment directly to the chef. Out came this brother with the most amazing dreadlocks; neatly gathered and held with a blue bandana. Now, I must confess that I have never talked to a guy with dreadlocks. Why? Because of some preconcived notion that dreadlocks signify trouble. I bought the unschooled and ignorant notion that wearers are rebels. I can now confute this belief, thanks to the young man who spent just fifteen minutes with us and left me ashamed of my unjustified belief.
From St Kitts, he is working two jobs to ensure that not only himself but his people back home are alright. His dream is to go home, although he regrets the fact that his beautiful island is falling apart. Talking to him, I ended up seeing the dreads as a crowning glory on the head of person who is not only a great cook but also an intellegent and focused gentleman.
Driving home, I remembered bible characters like John the Baptist and Samson who we admire and who were supposed to be close to God. Did those alive at that time cross the roads at their approach because they looked different? "Yikes, here comes those troublesome Nazerenes!" Could dreads have been more acceptable if it originated from the Western world? Why did I allow myself to see them as trouble just because some ignorant people said so? How many of us lose out on life due to prejudice? Questions! questions!! questions!!!
Arriving home, I decided to make use of my God-given intelligence and read up on Rastafarians and dreadlocks. It makes a fascinating read and I recommend you to delve into it yourself.
Will this make me grow such locks in the future? No way. I don't even think that my scanty, flyaway hair can be coaxed into it. But I will have more respect for those who do. More importantly, I will try harder not to be guided by other peoples opinion but rather work hard at finding out for myself. That's is part of the reason why God gave me my brains. I do Him injustice everytime I fail to use it.
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